Ahh…love. The thing that makes our hearts pound and our minds race with all the possibilities that a future with that special someone will bring. Love. That small word that binds some and scares others. That small word that also can color your world and blur the reality of a relationship. A relationship that may have changed and is no longer what the two of you want. It may be what you want, it may be what you think you can’t live without but it may not be what that other person wants and that person can live without it. But, it takes two to make your relationship work and no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do or do not do, if that other person does not feel the same then it is over. That is the scary word. OVER. It probably made your heart flutter a bit in fear when you read it right now. Why? Because you have done all you can, and may be still clinging on, but inside, somewhere you know it is over. Maybe that has you feeling like you failed. That you are not good enough. That no one will ever want you again. And maybe, you still think that the other person truly does love you but is just lost and if you are patient all you had before will be again. But they won’t and it won’t be.
So how do you let that person go? Well, it is not about letting the person go. It is about letting the dream go. It is about accepting that this time you won’t get what you want. And we hate that. For if it is so real to us, and is what we want so badly, how can that other person not feel the same? We reason that they will again and so we keep on trying. And remembering. And hoping.
To let go you must make changes. Think about these next steps for they can help you.
Take a look at where you are. Is that person with you right now? Why not? Because they do not want to be there. You are alone. Face that for that is how it is.
Realize that the dream is gone, done and over with. You wont’ be holding hands and holding each other close anymore. Your special person is not your special person any longer.
Will that hurt? You bet. Deep and down inside you will hurt. Good people hurt when bad things happen to them. This is normal. Allow that feeling. Cry if you must but don’t wallow in it. You can’t heal if you never allow yourself to.
Stop the contact with that other person. It will make the break easier. Don’t get lost in the more than often not myth of “we can still be friends” for most likely it will not work. Why? Because you love this person and can you honestly say that you won’t mind seeing them with another in a love relationship? You will only torture yourself. Stop the contact. And if you can tell that other person why. If that person has made the break already and you are the one who is calling, or “accidentally” running into them then STOP. Do you think you are impressing or endearing yourself to that other person by being so desperate? You aren’t. Is that how you want them to think of you? Stop all contact.
Change the way of how you think. Stop the thoughts of being a couple and make the thoughts of you. Look towards the future-after all your real true love might be out there looking for you and here you are too busy hanging on to a lost cause to meet them. What a shame that would be.
Do different things. If you had a favorite hangout then don’t go there. It will only make your heart long for the past. If “your” song comes on change it. Turn it off. It will only hurt. Someday you might hear it and it won’t be anything but another song. One with a faded memory.
Be busy. Talk to the people around you. If they invite you out go. Again, that right person might be out and about and here you are pining away holed up in your little apartment or home. Is that what you want? Didn’t think so.
Remember that things change. People change. You were alone before that person and survived. You hoped for love and found it and now it is gone. So hurt and then hope again. Right now you are the one hurting yourself. That other person is not even thinking of you. Hard fact. True fact. You can love again-but only if you allow yourself to.