Orgasms and Choosing a Mate

Do Orgasms Prevent Humans From Selecting Their Best Possible Mates?

The idea of whether a man or a woman deliberately seeks out a partner based on sexual prowess or the ability to deliver a resonating orgasm is not fictional.  And the thought of sex has probably crossed someone’s mind with regards to entering or exiting a relationship.   But the factors involved that determine a suitable mate include more than just sexual relations.

Human beings, as emotional creatures, crave emotion.  It is the bread and butter of life that makes up the human condition.  Sex is a means to experience and satisfy emotions of pleasure.  The orgasm itself is the zenith of intercourse.  There are countless studies on it’s effects physiologically and mentally.  And sex has become such an omnipresent part of society that it is hard not to acknowledge its power and influence.  But is the orgasm so powerful that it causes us to disregard reason?  Can sex compel us to act against our best interest?  Because we crave emotion so much, it’s possible for us to value and depend on certain gratifications.  In some cases, this dependency can cause negative consequences in a person’s life.  A sex addict is a term used to describe an individual who cannot control their sexual behavior or urges.  Sexual desires and impulses become a controlling factor.

Most individuals understand there is more to life than sex though.  Sex is just one facet of a relationship.  Companionship, support, love, etc. are all necessary qualities for a healthy relationship.  For many couples, the existence of these qualities makes sex much richer and meaningful.  This is because the chemistry that goes into sexual attraction and orgasm starts in the mind.  Ultimately, each individual has to determine their own values in a relationship.  And they need to communicate these values (including sex) with their partner.  If a couple is having trouble sexually, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s time to throw in the towel.  Not every person has an orgasm every time they have sex.  There may be physical or mental circumstances that prevent an orgasm.  For women, it is statistically more difficult to achieve orgasm than men.  One sex study showed about seventy-five percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone (without the help of sex toys, hands, or tongue).  Ten to fifteen percent never climax or orgasm under any circumstances (anorgasmia).  While this information could support women choosing their mates on orgasmic results, its likelihood is less than credible.  Where does the idea of sex start again?  It doesn’t take a “Don Juan” between the sheets to learn technique.  Many couples have sought sexual counseling and not only discovered new ways to satisfy one another, but have also learned many of their roadblocks to fulfillment were more mental than physical.  

There are individuals in this world who probably base their relationship choices on sex and orgasms.  But given the dynamic nature of sex and the other values that go into a relationship, those individuals would appear a minority.  Orgasms and great partners or mates can be found together.  It may take patience, communication, and even outside help.  But in the end, what is a relationship all about?  Why not have your cake and eat it too?