Why Verbal Abuse can be just as Damaging as Mental Abuse

Let me begin by saying I am not a psychologist or expert in any field connected with mental health. Life experience has taught me; what I’ve seen and what I’ve heard. My writing shares the way I feel. No academia.

Verbal abuse is powerful and destroying. Its power is increased by its relative invisibility. People can actually encourage and support this kind of abuse and abuser, without even realising their contribution. A victim can be left to feel as though there must be something wrong with them because the collective laugh, when the abuser calls them an idiot and tells his or her friends with a smile he’s always been useless’ or bone idle that one, good for nothing waste of space’. When the victim hears no defence put forward, he equates silence or laughter with agreement.

dictionary.com definition ~

Bully: overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.

Bullying goes beyond the playground.

Verbal abuse sustained over a long period of time, slowly grinds a person down and often leaves them believing they are the problem. One of the saddest things, in my opinion, about long-term abuse, is that the victim, often, does not even recognise him/herself as being abused. They don’t know they can escape because they think that the problem is within them. The abuser, often, is the good person in their eyes, who just tries to help by pointing things out; “He’s right, I’ve always been slow” “It’s true, I’ve never been very smart”

While all forms of abuse are to be abhorred, I think the most dangerous and potentially long term damaging for us all, must be the mental and verbal abuse of children.

Bullying breads anger and hate, internal and external.

It is during our growing years, our adolescents, when we form our perceptions or understanding of the world around us, ourselves and our future roles within. The long-term effects of a child brought up to believe they are useless (a thought compounded by the masses) are immeasurable. If they never recognise how their mind-set has been altered and damaged by abuse, they will never be able to re-set and create a positive future. Potentially worse, unrecognised abuse creates or continues a cycle.
We learn from the world around us how to be; what does the abused child learn? Abusers are usually victims too; we must help one another for the sake of all our futures, we must recognise abuse and stop it!

Abuse; recognise it
and break the cycle.