Tinfoil Hats Intensify Mind Control

The infamous tin foil hat—long associated with paranoia, crackpots, or individuals that promote borderline conspiracy theories—actually has some scientific history supporting the odd accoutrement.

Although recognized as having some credibility in the past, (a wearer of a tin foil hat being able to protect against intruding radio frequencies or ‘mind-control’ devices), students at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have demonstrated that tin foil hats may not act as an effective shield against any sort of mind control probe, but actually intensify some radio frequencies ability to reach the human brain.

In essence: a tin foil hat may expose the wearer to mind-control.

The students tested three different designs of hats that wearers claim protects them from ‘mind control rays’ directed at their brains shadowy government agents, the CIA, military tricksters, or minions of the New World Order.

“They found that all three designs actually amplified these radio waves,” writes boingboing.com about the experiment.

It didn’t matter if the hat was configured in the shape of an Egyptian or Turkish fez, a skullcap, or a Roman Centurion helmet. All three tin foil hats failed to block radio waves and actually amplified the signal.

Using a laboratory setting and a quarter-million dollar network analyzer, the students discovered that “on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified.” [From the Abstract: “On the Effectiveness of Aluminium Foil Helmets: An Empirical Study” — Electrical Engineering and Computer Science department, MIT.]

In line with conspirators’ claims about where the radio frequencies emanate from, the students selected only frequencies within the bandwidth used by the federal government. Their radio signal ranged across 10 kilohertz to three gigahertz.

The students themselves admit some suspicion the governmental authorities and more than hint at their belief in the Abstract: “Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government’s invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.”

They may be right.

The research revealed disturbing evidence that the tin foil hats actually work to intensify government and multinational corporations’ frequencies. Because of this coincidence (?) the students conclude with advise for all wearers of tin foil hats:

“It requires no stretch of the imagination to conclude that the current helmet craze is likely to have been propagated by the Government, possibly with the involvement of the FCC. We hope this report will encourage the paranoid community to develop improved helmet designs to avoid falling prey to these shortcomings.”