Low self-esteem comes from either or both of two sources; pride or shame. We shouldn’t have any problem with feeling of inferiority, which is what low self-esteem is, if we know who we are and accept ourselves. If we know and recognize our talents and abilities but also our shortcomings, there wouldn’t be any problems with our self-esteem.
But what happens sometimes is that we compare ourselves with others and think others are somehow superior to us because they show more talents or have privileges we don’t have. When we think that way it is because of pride. We think: “If I could be like him or her or have what they have, I could be superior to someone else”. And that is pride. The way we should think is: He or she is more talented than me and I admire him or her. But I don’t think they are more superior to anyone. We just have different talents and abilities. If we think someone superior it means you will feel superior if you had or accomplished what that particular someone had.
The other way we can feel inferior could be because of something we are doing that we think is shameful. When we are clear and transparent we don’t experience inferiority feelings or have low self-esteem. But doing what is right in front of others and in secrecy will give us transparency and no guilty feelings, which will affect our self-esteem negatively. It is called integrity. You behave the same in front of others as when in secrecy. Thinking soberly about ourselves and keeping ourselves busy with things that are important will keep our self-esteem in check. Our self-esteem can’t be too low or too high. It should be functional.
But it can also happens and it does that people are abused verbally or physically which leave emotional scars while growing up which affect negatively our self-esteem. Even in our adult lives we can be hurt with words that can lower our self-esteem.
But is our self-esteem that give us confidence to succeed. With the right dose of self-esteem we can make other people feel comfortable around you. If we approach somebody or a group of people with a low self-esteem they are going to feel uncomfortable and might thing you’re not trustworthy. The same with an overdose of self-esteem. Arrogance will make people feel unease about you. The bottom line is to think about yourself humbly or in a sober manner.
Our confidence, of course, is born form our self esteem. But from where is our self esteem born? Self esteem is developed by the results of our actions. If we do what is right and we follow our dreams and we are successful in what we do, it will add a strong and positive self esteem to our psyche. But if we engage in wrong doing and we end up defeated in life, our self esteem will suffer even if we try to hide it.