The Effects of Stress from a Break-Up
The primary causes of stress have always been connected to routine life crises, such as family illness, death, moving house or divorce. But, with many relationships lasting only between six months and a year, most people can expect some additional resulting trauma on at least five to six occasions in their lifetime. These are problems which most people try to avoid without ever quite succeeding, because the mere notion of expecting relationships to fail ensures that they do, in a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.
Stress from a break-up is thus the worst kind of stress because it contains personal rejection, momentary insecurity and loss of status/esteem for at least one party, not to mention the financial costs which may be attached. Yet it has been underestimated in its effects and overlooked by government provisions. If the ‘ex’ is also being vindictive, that makes it 10 times worse.
When we feel rejected, controlled or unappreciated, when there is violence and abuse, everything else in our lives pales into insignificance because we lose our sense of belonging, joy and worth. This affects whatever we do until we feel better. Bereavement of any kind and moving house might come top of the list of any stress-inducing activities, but being stuck in an unwanted relationship, which affects at least 20 per cent of couples, or being momentarily rejected by a partner, should go right to the top of that list because of the ongoing consequences they have for everyone involved.
In fact, an aggregate of key surveys conducted recently, both at home and abroad, has revealed the main causes of stress, based on the percentage of audience response to multiple life choices, and they accurately reflect current anxieties. The most popular causes, identified as a percentage from all the responses, are the following:
1. Conflicts with loved ones (58%)
2. Money problems (54%)
3. Job/home demands (42%)
4. Pace of modern life (39%)
5. Body weight (33%)
6. Lack of free time (29%)
7. Excessive noise (29%)
8. Crime in the community (25%)
9. Lack of sleep (23%)
10. Violence on TV or movies (22%)
11. Health problems (21%)
12. Body image (20%)
How many of these are affecting each of us now, and in what order? The more of these we have troubling us at any one time is the lesser the actual quality of our existence. If they haven’t begun to do so yet, they will soon take their toll. Therefore, some resolution to them is essential.