Why it is never too late to conquer fear
It is never too late to conquer fear for several reasons. Depending on the object one fears and the intensity of the anxiety one feels it may be necessary to overcome the fear for self preservation.
One example which comes to mind is an unusually story. Each month a group of ladies met to play cards taking turns as hostess in their home. Most of the ladies were very elderly and had to rely on others for a ride. This particular month, my mother was hostess and lived in an apartment building on the fourth floor. Another poor soul was terrified elevators. She could not climb the stairs and felt sad about missing out on the social evening. At about 75 years of age she did not have much of a social life. Fear was preventing her from living the life she wanted.
After much persuasion, she allowed me to accompany her in the elevator. I had the lady talk continuously throughout the ride. I told her to keep the conversation going until we arrived at mother’s apartment. The lady was amazed how a simple trick like talking helped her overcome her fear. At 82 years of age, this lady was in hospital. She had to make trips up and down in the elevator daily for tests etc. She articulated to everyone that she talked throughout the rides in the elevator to avoid fear. She was so pleased with herself for her power over the elevator. One would think she had conquered Mount Everest. By conquering her fear before entering the hospital, she was able to help herself be rehabilitated sooner. The anxiety she previously suffered would have been detrimental to her ability to recover as quickly.
This lady realized that even though she could not ride in an elevator for the first 75 years of her life, being in a wheelchair there is no other way to get up or down the building’s levels. She does not go out of her way to get into elevators she says, but when it is necessary she no longer hyperventilates, breaks out in a sweat, and cries at the thought of the ride. She does wish she had found her “little secret” out before but is nonetheless glad she has it now.
Fear is an emotion which one should try their best to conquer. Say you are terrified of needles. This can be detrimental to your health and also your social life. You need to have shots to go on vacation to several countries. If you do not conquer your fear and have the shots, you may get very ill while away. No matter how long you have embraced your fear it is possible and beneficial to give it up. Just imagine becoming a diabetic with the dread of needles. Survival dictates the benefits of conquering your fear of needles if you must take one or more daily. Holding onto the anxiety will cause you undue stress which will affect the control of your diabetes.
There are several methods of conquering fear. I sought after professional help to overcome my fear of spiders. We have a closet at work which is at the back of the building in a stairwell. Part of my job requires me to enter this closet regularly. I would become so apprehensive about going into the closet where the spiders live I would literally shake. A counsellor helped me get over my fear of spiders. She gave me a simple method, each time I had to enter the closet I would pinch my index finger and my thumb together very tightly. Within weeks I was entering the closet without any apprehension. This simple but effective method amazed me. I use it to conquer other fears to this day.
When my children were little, they were all afraid of lightening and thunder. I would have them count from the time they saw the lightening until the thunder rolled. This appeased all three of them. They conquered their fear within 2 or 3 storms. None of their children are afraid of storms and I think it is because they are no longer fearful. My sister on the other hand was still afraid until the day she died. I wish she would have been able to conquer her fear as easily.
Realizing that everyone is afraid of something does seem to lend consolation in conquering our own fears. Sometimes fear is a good thing. It prevents us from walking out into traffic, jumping off a cliff without any protection or other acts of self destruction.
Often we are not even aware of our fears until we are face to face with a situation. Someone may be afraid of doctors but is unaware while growing up healthy and never seeing one. Later in life if they suddenly have to engage the professional services of a doctor and then discover their anxiety it is probably best to deal with the situation as soon as possible. We can learn from our experiences and improve our wellbeing by helping ourselves overcome our fears at any age.
Fear may diminish with time or even be replaced with a concern which is far more self destructive. For example, an elderly lady told me she was always afraid of dying. She said that as time went on she was becoming progressively more afraid of living. She said she would never want to live if she were “Like a vegetable”. That, to her, would be a fate worse than death. On the other hand, my brother lay in a coma for a year and we never gave up hope that he would someday get better. His “vegetable state” was, in our opinions, better than not having him at all. We could see past his condition and into his eyes where there seemed to be life. The lady conquered her fear of dying by replacing it with another apprehension more necessary to her with the passing of time. This is a curious way of conquering fear in later years but it worked to soothe her state of mind.
No matter what age you are being fearful is stressful and frustrating. The fear can be justified or not. The sooner you conquer your fear the better. If you have lived with fear for decades, your health may benefit greatly by conquering the anxieties that control you. Seek professional help if you need to and you will be astonished at the benefits you receive through your conquest.
