Individual Variations and the Grieving Process

Grief: A Definitive Exploration

Daily events can send an individual through an emotional roller coaster ride of ups and downs. These emotions range from pure joy and elation to deep sorrow and sadness. One particular emotion tends to keep an individual on the low end of this emotional carnival ride with very few highs and can be mildly aggravating to completely devastating. This feeling is defined by many but never fully understood-grief. Grief is caused by various reasons and is followed by a multitude of outcomes. One thing that remains consistent is it always surrounds the loss of something that holds importance. It involves a total individual, and sometimes cultural, experience associated with thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Grief is encompassed by its causative reasons, physical and emotional manifestations, and the processes by which it is resolved.
There are as numerous reasons for grief as there are levels of the amount of grief that individuals feel. People frequently associate certain losses with strong feelings of grief. Commonly this involves the death of a loved one such as a child, a significant other, a dear friend, a relative, or even a family pet. In ancient Egypt, women were considered abnormal if they did not grieve over a loss by unrestrained weeping. In modern-day America there is a standard of “managed grief” witnessed by the increasing number of grief counselors. This appears to show that the events deserving of grief are not only dictated by the individual, but can also be governed by the society that the individual inhabits. Subtle or less obvious losses can also cause great feelings of grief. These losses can include elimination from a job, loss of financial security, a relationship breakup, or a loss of health through an illness.
Dealing with significant losses can cause an array of physical and emotional signs and symptoms. A very recognizable expression of grief is depression. This is a psychological disorder marked by sadness, inactivity, and difficulty in concentration. Depression can lead to physical symptoms such as insomnia, physical pain, or a feeling of numbness. Depression also leads to more emotional symptoms like ambivalence, guilt, or even thoughts of suicide. Every loss is different and unique to each person. The amount of grief we feel is directly related to our perception of the amount of loss that we experience and thus outwardly expressed by each individual differently.
The stages of grief are not set in stone, as each individual will pass through them in varying times and cycles; but many do follow predictable patterns. Denial, the disbelief of the unfortunate happenstance, is frequently the first stage. Then upon the awareness of the reality of the situation, anger begins to surface. This marks the second stage. The next stage in this grieving process is bargaining. Following bargaining is depression which often accompanies all of these stages. Those who do surmount this stage find themselves in a feeling entirely new and wonderfully beautiful in comparison to being grief-stricken. This final stage is acceptance. Any change of circumstance can cause one to go through this process.
The losses encountered that result in grief is countless, and experienced differently by each person. Each separate loss causes an assortment of feelings that are also tailored to each person. These feelings are sent through the grieving process in order for the individual to heal and move on. Grief is a multi-faceted feeling involving an individualized process of healing for every person that takes time, energy, and work to overcome.