Parental Bonding and Borderline Personality Disorder
Family life can be very stressful, especially when both parents have to work. Society has pressures of its own, and can lead to isolation. Borderline personality disorder is caused by many factors. Societal interaction challenges the overall development of every child’s psyche. When peer pressure is combined with poor parental bonding, personalities are tested. In all likelihood, parents have the most impact on their children, even if it is simply through a lack of relationship. Omission often causes great turmoil for people.
The Power of Silence
When a woman gets a new dramatic hair style, she is usually offended if her significant other doesn’t notice. The child who brings home straight A’s for the first time, gets extremely let down if no one is happy about it. Even the dog who barks at the stranger is confused if his master doesn’t hear the warning. Everyone needs recognition, whether it is positive or negative. Lack of interaction produces a feeling of nothingness, which does not compute with the why of creation.
Children need to bond with their parents. A positive bond is preferred, but even a negative bond is better than nothing. At least with a negative bond, the child has something to refute. Society needs to be extremely careful when diagnosing children with personality disorders, borderline or otherwise. Children express stress in many different ways. They take their cues from adults, and often don’t know how to deal with their feelings. Sometimes a child’s expression of stress could be misinterpreted or dismissed too easily.
When parents bond with their children, they teach them to deal with stress in appropriate ways. It is easier for a child to admit failure, and ask for help, when they have a relationship with their parent. While the parent may be disappointed, he does not need to be overly harsh. The parental bond should be nurtured so that he can show disapproval, without destroying self worth.
Success also needs to be acknowledged by parents. Children work hard to please the adults in their lives. Parents who respond positively to their efforts reinforce the results. In contrast, children with little to no feedback internalize the lack of response. This can lead to emotional challenges relating to borderline personality disorder.
Children need to feel secure in their homes. They need to know that it is okay to make mistakes there. Parents should create an environment where children can learn from their mistakes, without carrying unnecessary guilt for making them. While it is important to correct wrongs, it is even more vital to accept the person making them. Children are able to adjust more easily in an environment where they can be themselves.
The demands of society are tough on every family. That is why it is so important for parents to bond with their children in the home. Creating a healthy home environment is the only recourse we have that allows us to help our children cope. When our children cope better, borderline personality disorder can become a non-issue.