Emotional intelligence is the idea that when we know our emotions, we create awareness about ourselves, about others, and about real and potential abilities. If so, we can better manage our selves, our business, and our social skills with others in these same areas.
The idea is outlined in a book called Primal Leadership, by Daniel Goleman, R Boyatzis, and Annie McKee. Like books on the self help shelf, this one builds upon the central theme that people can connect, and thereby help others and living systems.
The book shows examples and demonstrates how people can recognize their true selves and their ideal selves. It outlines how to use new found awareness of all emotional states to better serve ourselves and others,
One can begin by realistically assessing strengths, and then gauge what effect our strengths, such as listening, empathy, presentation, and more have on others. Then one can coach others with this new found awareness, while gathering feedback from them to the dame for themselves.
A core theme is to once one has identified strengths to build upon them This allows one to optimize any skill to its fullest potential. Unlike just mind based intelligence which may carry a lot of facts, figures and what people assume to be certainties around in a catch all tool bag of “intelligence”, knowing emotional intelligence brings with it a more intuitive and realistic grasp upon what we respond to emotionally, and what can be created from that within ourselves and with help to others.
One of the most essential emotional skills for effective leadership is the ability to listen.
We spend most of our listening time, mentally turning out what is being said, and constructing in our own minds the next point we want to make. We are stuck in what we wish to convey, and have trouble taking the time to hear what someone else may be trying to covey. With coaxing of our emotional intelligence skills, this is turned around.
We can tune in, whether we agree or disagree, and let someone make their point. Then we can provide feedback to them that displays we hear that point. This crucial step is the one most often left out in most conversations, business deals, negotiations, and more.
It is a skill that is very well worth improving. It displays awareness of self and the other. It conveys a concern about self and the other, and it opens up a safe and comfortable place for individuals to feel connected, and to volunteer their own talents, skills, insights and contributions of many kinds.
The end result of developing emotional intelligence skills is to show and gain support, to influence and develop skills, to inspire and to create cooperation and gainful collaboration.
The trust and encouragement created allows people to feel more confidence and more motivation to hone their own emotional intelligence and leadership skills.
It is all about knowing, creating, and building confidence, which builds teams and which builds success, in and out of offices.