If you think your husband is bisexual, you’ve come to the right place. I’m going to take you by the hand and show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your husband back, totally committed to you and only you, and I’ll do that right here on this site in just 4 steps:
1. The first thing you need to do is to determine if your husband is in fact bisexual. Read up on the signs of bisexuality to be certain that that is the situation we are dealing with.
2. The second thing is to figure out whether or not he’s cheating. Not all bisexual men cheat on their wives, but if your husband is cheating on you, you need to know and have evidence so that you can stop it.
3. Next, you are going to have to figure out what is right for you at this point. Just because your husband is bisexual doesn’t mean you either have to get a divorce or suffer the embarrassment and rejection of having him cheating on you with other men.
4. Finally, we’ll talk about the things you can do right now to save your marriage and win back your husband’s love, dedication, and fidelity. You can have a committed marriage even if your husband is bisexual– without cheating, porn, or doubts.
Don’t fall into the trap of feeling that there is no hope for your marriage… or worse, that this is your fault. You do not have to suffer in misery forever, constantly worried about who your husband is with, and what he’s doing with them. YOU have the ability to save your marriage and bring back all the love, commitment and security that comes with knowing that you have a fulfilling marriage, and that you can trust your husband to be faithful to you.
So let’s get started!
Step 1: How To Tell If A Man Is Bisexual
If you’re worried that your husband is bisexual, the first thing you need to do is to see if he’s showing an interest in men sexually, or acting like he has gay tendencies. At this point, you’re not trying to figure out if he’s cheating or not, just if sex with men is something that’s on his mind.
Here are some signs you should look for:
1. He watches homosexual or bisexual pornography. This is a definite sign that he is bisexual, and even if it is the only sign, it’s something you need to address as a couple.
2. He has suspicious computer activity. If you can’t find any porn on his computer, but he does spend a lot of time online and clears his browser history, you know that something is up, you just need to figure out exactly what it is.
3. He displays extreme homophobic behavior. If he gets almost militantly angry when he is confronted by gay issues or someone who is gay, this can be a sign that he is really gay or bisexual. Even though this seems to be counter-intuitive, it can either be a reaction due to the fact that he is being confronted by a part of himself that he is uncomfortable with, or a part of himself that he doesn’t want other people to know about.
4. He pays a lot of attention to his looks, and uses beauty products, especially those intended for women. This alone is not a definite indication that he is bisexual, but combined with other signs it can be an indicator that he is.
5. He reads gay or bisexual literature.
6. He has a strong interest in anal sex, and other not so typical sexual activities.
7. He seems to enjoy sex, but at the same time is restless, bored, or seems to be not completely satisfied.
8. He doesn’t seem to be really turned on by you, and he does seem to get turned on when he is around other attractive men.
9. He comments on other men’s appearances, and you catch him checking them out.
10. He has friends who are openly gay or bisexual. Again, this is not a definite sign that himself is bisexual, but combined with other signs, or if he seems to have a lot of gay or bisexual friends, it can be a strong indicator that he is.
Any combination of these signs is a strong indication that your husband is indeed bisexual, meaning that he has a strong interest in and desire for sex with men as well with women. This does not necessarily mean that he has been having an affair with another man.
If his bisexual activities and interest have not reached the point of infidelity, you still need to deal with the emotional effects on your marriage and relationship, and work together to come to a solution that will leave you both in a satisfying relationship.
But for now, the next step is to find out if he has been cheating.
Step 2: Is Your Bisexual Husband Cheating On You?
The signs that your husband is cheating on you with another man are in many ways very similar to the signs that are there are with any cheating husband, but some are definitely unique to this situation.
1. Interactions with other men that seem to be more intimate than normal. A hug, kiss, or touch that lasts a little too long or seems to be more than just friendly.
2. A male friend or group of friends that he spends a lot of time with or seems very close to and intimate with.
2. He gives or receives intimate, expensive, or personal gifts from other men.
3. Suspicious phone activity. This includes getting a new cell phone, unknown numbers repeatedly showing up on his cell phone bill, him deleting numbers from the caller ID, or spending a lot of time on the phone privately.
4. Suspicious email activity. He opens a new email account, or starts deleting incoming messages.
5. He spends a lot more time away from home than he used to. Works overtime and weekends, runs errands more often, goes out to meet with “the guys”, or spends time away from home when you can’t get in contact with him.
6. His interest in his appearance suddenly increases; he starts working out at the gym.
7. He smells like a different aftershave, or you find a pair of boxers in the laundry that don’t look familiar.
8. He starts wanting sex more often, or avoids it completely.
9. His attitude at home changes abruptly. Either he is suddenly more helpful, more attentive and loving, or he is agitated, nervous, and starts picking fights.
10. Your friends, family, or co-workers start acting strangely around you. Very often they will pick something up long before you will.
Catching your husband when he is having an affair with another man can be more complicated than when the affair is with a woman because it is normal for men to have relationships with other men. So you need to take a careful look at the friendships he has, and see if one of them has stepped over the line of “normal.”
Step 3: What To Do If Your Bisexual Husband Is Cheating On You
Once you know that your husband is bisexual, and if he is currently cheating on you, there are a few things that you must do.
The first, and most important, is to get yourself to a doctor and get checked for STDs, including HIV. Even if you don’t think that your husband is cheating on you, you do need to take this precaution, because he probably has been intimate with another man at some point in time.
Most bisexual men, even those married to someone they love and are devoted to, will have sex with another man as a way of confirming their bisexuality, even if they are not interested in an affair. In many ways this is even more dangerous health-wise, because of the kind of person they would have likely have found to have sex with.
The second thing you need to do, is to come to a decision about where you are going to go from here. You have three choices:
1. Get a divorce.
2. Live with it.
3. Change the situation.
If you thought that the only choices were 1 and 2, you’re not alone. Most women assume that if their husband is bisexual, then he will never change and they either have to chose between him having sex and loving affairs with other men and watching gay and bi porn online, or going through a painful and embarrassing divorce.
This is totally not true!
Lets go over a few things here.
1. Cheating is cheating. It doesn’t matter if someone is cheating with someone of the same or opposite sex. It’s still cheating, and it’s not okay.
2. Bisexuality doesn’t come with special privlages. We get very nervous when someone says they’re bisexual because we want to be politically correct and we don’t want to step on anyone’s toes.
But bisexual means that a person is sexually attracted to members of both genders, and enjoys sex with both of them. That’s it. It doesn’t mean that if someone is bisexual they have to watch bi porn, or sleep with people they’re not married with. Sure, they might enjoy it, but they don’t have to.
This is the major point here. When your husband married you, he committed to only being intimate (both sexually and emotionally) with you. That means that if he always had a thing for Asian girls and you’re not, he has to give up on that dream. That means that if he fantacises about big, beautiful breasts, and you had a double mastectomy, he needs to move past that desire, and make love to you, the way you are. And no porn either.
And that also means that if he really enjoys sex with men, and he decided to marry a woman, or he realized after 15 years of marriage that he’s lusting after men and never got to experience that, well, then… sorry Charlie. Marriage is a committment and it means committing to another person totally, even if that means sacrificing some other things that you might really, really want.
If you think about it from this perspective, then you’ll come to an understanding that your husband’s bisexuality doesn’t mean that you have to live in misery or get divorced.
If you can move past your feelings of pain and betrayal, you CAN save your marriage. It will take work, and lots of discussion, and you are both going to have to make changes, but you can do it.
Let’s talk about how.
Step 4: How To Save Your Marriage After A Bisexual Betrayal
If you have had a loving and wonderful relationship with your husband up till this point, then saving your marriage is more than possible. I’m going to show you exactly what you need to know and do to win back his love and desire and keep him loyal to you.
The first step to dealing with infidelity of this sort is to come to a real understanding of what is going on inside your husband’s head right now. I know that you’re probably very angry at him besides hurt… and that’s more than okay… you have every right to be… but if you want to win back his commitment and devotion you need to understand his thoughts and feelings and not reject him. He will really feel the difference… and will respond very differently if he knows that you understand him and don’t feel that he’s a bad person.
You also need to accept that your husband has certain needs and desires, and that those desires can be met to a certain (and acceptable) extent within the confines of your marriage. And that means that you have to be willing to make certain changes, and be open to new ideas because that is what your husband needs from you.
That being said, you need to approach your husband very carefully. Let me stress that you absolutely cannot just sit down and start talking. Think about it as if you are about to go on a mission. You need to have your whole plan carefully laid out so you know you have all bases covered, and you know what to do when you get where you’re going.
Confronting your husband about his bisexuality is a very sensitive thing. The way you choose to go about it will mean either success or failure.