Grief is a universal human experience that most people go through at least once in their lives. And although grief is universal, people do not experience it the same. Everyone grieves in their own way, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was considered an expert on grief and wrote the well-known book “On Death and Dying” that outlined the five steps in the grieving process.
Denial
The first stage of grief is denial. During this period, people are in shock and denial that their loved one is gone. They may withdraw or isolate themselves from friends and family. It’s common for people who are in denial to feel overwhelmed and wonder how they will be able to carry on in life without their loved one.
Anger
When people who are grieving experience anger, it often comes from the pain or losing their loved one. They may direct their anger at an individual, even the person who has died, or at the cause of their death. Some people may even be angry at the world in general, according to the University of Pennsylvania Health System. People who are grieving often are angry they have been left alone or feel as though they were abandoned. “
Bargaining
Bargaining is the stage in the grieving process in which people are willing to make deals with God or others in an attempt to get their loved one back. In some cases, the bargaining can begin when a loved one is still alive but sick or injured and fighting for life. A person may be willing to bargain with God to ensure their loved one survives. After a death, a person in the grieving process may be willing to bargain to make the pain of the loss go away.
Sadness
The fourth stage of the grieving process is sadness or depression, when the pain of the loss sets in. According to Kubler-Ross, this depression is not the same as clinical depression. Instead, it is a time when the pain of the loss is numbing and a person who is grieving begins to understand how it will affect their life.
Acceptance
The final step in the grieving process is acceptance, when the reality of the loss has set in and the person is ready to move forward. Reaching the point of acceptance does not mean a person is OK with the loss of a loved one; it simply means they have come to terms with the loss and understand its permanence. During this period, people begin to readjust and makes changes so they can move on without their loved one. And they often begin to seem engaged in life once again.
About this Author
Meghan McMahon lives in the Chicago suburbs, where she spent six years as a newspaper journalist before becoming a part-time freelance writer and editor and full-time mother. She received a bachelor’s degree in journalism from Eastern Illinois University in 2000 and has written for “The Daily Southtown” and “The Naperville Sun” in suburban Chicago.
