Many parents fear the dreaded words, “Can I sleep with you?”, accompanied by their toddler crawling under the covers to snuggle up to Mommy and Daddy. Some little ones limit this to evenings when they’ve had a bad dream or are scared by a nasty thunderstorm, but others try it nearly every night. It takes some effort and persistence to teach them to sleep in their own beds.
Give Child a Toy or Doll
Many toddlers have a favorite stuffed toy or doll that can be used as a sleeping companion. Make a big deal out of saying “goodnight” to the toy and tucking it in along with the child. Urge her to talk to her “friend” if she gets nervous about something or wakes up during the night.
The Savvy Daddy website states you can also help the child create an imaginary friend as an overnight companion. The friend can be someone brave with whom the youngster can share her fears.
Be Consistent
Your toddler will be more likely to sleep in his own bed if you make sleep time part of a consistent nightly routine, Susan Brody of Parents magazine advises. Have little rituals that build up to bedtime, such as winding down with a story or other quiet activity. Put the child to bed, and take him back to his own bedroom if he tries to join Mom and Dad later. Keep doing it as many times as necessary. Brody warns that letting him stay rewards his behavior and makes him more likely to try it again the next night.
Create a Comforting Ritual
Some toddlers are afraid of the dark, and even a nightlight cannot soothe their fear that monsters are lurking in the closet or under the bed. Pediatrician Dr. Alan Greene recommends using a ritual in which the child is empowered over the fearful object. Go into the closet and frighten them away, recite a special chant or spritz air freshener around the room and tell your child it’s monster repellent.
Give Small Rewards
Toddlers are very responsive to simple reward systems. Create a calendar chart, and let your child add a sticker for every night in which she sleeps in her own bed. Savvy Daddy states you can give a new toy, favorite treat or other reward for a certain number of stickers.
Link Bedtime With Being Grown Up
Toddlers are often eager to be “big boys” or “big girls.” Tie this into sleep alone all night. Praise the child after each successful night by saying, “Wow, you’re getting to be such a big girl,” or “What a big boy you are.” This helps build confidence and self-esteem as well as reinforcing the behavior.
About this Author
Based in Kissimmee, Fla., Barb Nefer is a freelance writer with more than 20 years’ experience. She is also a mental health counselor and travel agency owner. She specializes in self-help, travel, parenting, relationships and animals. Her work has appeared in such magazines as “The Writer,” “Animal Wellness,” “SuperVision,” “Bird Talk,” “SpeciaLiving” and “Twins.”
