Nonverbal cues serve numerous functions in relaying information. These cues can complement, reinforce, replace, regulate, contradict or accent verbal messages. Research results have varied regarding the power of nonverbal communication, but Dr. Albert Mehrabian suggested that people communicate as much as 93 percent of their feelings and attitudes with nonverbal cues. Nonverbal communication encompasses tone, physical space, eye contact, gestures, facial expressions and stance.
Context
Context can help determine appropriate body language and also help you understand other people. With nonverbal communication, context can involve the relationship between two parties and the circumstances of their meeting. It is appropriate for a man to stand close to his wife at home, but it is likely inappropriate for the man to stand that close to his boss. Appropriate nonverbal communication also varies among cultures. Acceptable nonverbal cues for members of one culture might be considered rude to members of another.
Eye Contact
Eye contact is a critical part of nonverbal communication. In the United States, most people consider eye contact during conversation a courteous and respectful behavior. Though an appropriate amount can show the other person that you are attending to the discussion, sustained or intense eye contact might be considered intrusive. In some cultures, prolonged eye contact is rude or a sign of disrespect.
Tone
Tone of voice is a powerful aspect of message delivery. If you say the words “I’m so happy to see you” through gritted teeth, the other person will infer a different message from your tone than the words themselves suggest. Regardless of the words you say, your tone can imply disdain, anger, happiness or any other emotion.
Contradictory Behaviors
According to Help Guide, nonverbal communication should reinforce the words someone is saying. In many cases, a person might say one thing and his body language might say something else. Observe the other person’s tone, gestures, posture and eye contact to determine whether it matches his message. Awareness of contradictory words and behaviors can lead to greater understanding of a situation.
When In Doubt, Ask
Though there are common interpretations of nonverbal cues, nonverbal behaviors do not have fixed meanings. When mixed messages from someone result in confusion about what she is trying to express, ask her to clarify. Use phrases such as “As you see it…” or “I get the impression that…” and repeat the other person’s basic message to her. This gives her the chance to confirm or clarify the message.
About this Author
Lindsay Kahl has a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a master’s degree in social work. She is a licensed master social worker in the state of New York, and has several years of experience in the mental health field.
