Time, and poor choices reflected, by a path of heartbreak, tears, confused children and parents bewildered and weary. Yes, my life has had adversity, caused by poor choices in relationships, eyes of judgement by others, and pursuing my own demons seeking answers for…
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Pains of sexual abuse run deep through the soul of the victim. They often carry their effects through their life, rearing their ugliness when one least expects it. Dreams of flight may occur. One has an unconscious escape from the…
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I had some dreams there were clouds in my coffee…I bet you think these shoes are about you! Taking some liberty with the Carly Simon song allows me to clearly state that I could care less about the style of…
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The joy of being in love again presumes one was in love in the past. Yes, one might have been, a spouse might have passed away or even through divorce. There are many times that one realizes late in life…
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October 27, 2014 Communication
After thirty years working with couples, as well as my own dark skeletons of the past effecting my relationships, I have learned immensely from listening to women. I have my own un-scientific theory, based solely on experience. Approximately eighty percent…
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Stepchild, the origin of this word is Old-English, means bereaved; it actually originated from the word, sad orphan. With the roots of this term being so ingrained with ugliness, does it surprise anyone, the difficulty children have disclosing “I am…
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Divorce rates continue to hover around fifty percent, although with the falling economy, that has stabilized. Marriage can be a difficult task with bills, communication, intimacy differences, children to raise, health issues, and stressors from our jobs. Divorces occur, many…
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Befriending a step child implies behavior for the purpose of creating a closer relationship. This can also imply manipulation, going the extra mile, and over-extending one’s self. Friendships with anyone takes time to develop, a sharing of gifts, these gifts…
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I suppose we all realize that Wally and the Beaver with white picket fences and their neatly set table for dinner were an illusion on the silver screen. Family conflicts do exist, are very real, and can become more intense…
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There is a difference in disciplining step-children than your own child. I have been on both sides of the fence, and differences do exist. On one hand, a child is a child, and the pragmatics of discipline should be the…
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All conflicts have a few common ingredients. There needs to be two or more individuals, and a disagreement or misconception must occur.The duration of the conflict is based on resolution, which involves compromise, and who wants to hang on to…
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When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world. John Muir. A profound quote that is very applicable to the pull of the step-child around holidays. The child, so many…
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A seven- year-old child climbed atop the kitchen table, as requested by his elderly grandfather. An alleged life lesson was about to be taught. As the child’s knees shook, there was a bit of anxiety which was clearly perceived in…
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Feeling inadequate? Concerned about your parenting techniques? Not sure if your child truly loves you? These are all foundational underpinnings of insecurity that interplay with favoring your child. Combine these feelings with bringing in a step-child and you have a…
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Many psychologists will tell you when it comes to change there are few areas where quick decisions should never be made. A few of these are, a location move, job change, divorce, and a quick marriage. With that knowledge, we…
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It appears all too often, expression of anger, and conflict is viewed as, BAD. We all have a range of emotions, and feelings. The appropriate expression of these emotions and how to resolve conflict has led to awesome results. Good…
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At various stages of a child’s life, their wants, needs and expectations change. There are some basics, that all children want. Some of these are conscious others unconscious. Step-children, need consistency, truth, and need to know they are wanted. Children…
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August 23, 2013 Crisis Support
Why? Of course there are the exceptions of pathological crying, when an individual just cannot stop. There life is disrupted, they cannot function. For the most part tears are very healthy. In the Western society we frequently view tears as…
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