Author Archive: D. Victor

“It’s not what you say, but what people hear”. We all desire to make a good first impression on a first date, since this is the beginning of the discovery process. In most cases, you have already decided that the…
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Romance provides the spark that ignites and maintains true love in the long run. In terms of a long term relationship, true love involves ample and equivalent doses of romance, intimacy and commitment. Romance is an aspect of love that…
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What love is could be more important than what it is not, although defining the concept is essentially complex. The philosophy of love aims to reduce the complexity and increase our understanding. The first thing to understand about love is…
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Getting a second date is a fair indicator of the success of the first date. Mutual attraction was likely established and you got to know your love interest a bit. Ideally, your second date should build on the first. The…
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The philosophy of love underscores the idea that love has a range of meanings as a result of its impreciseness. I recall being told that love was just a feeling that we can’t understand. However, this view is considered unsophisticated…
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One of the most fascinating things about definitions is that they may provide more questions than answers. The basic definitions seem simple enough. However, my own definition of cheating would account for the equivocal nature of cheating. It is still…
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The “Triangular Theory of Love” was developed by Robert Sternberg. It is based on the premise that the type and “shape” of love is determined by three primary factors: a) Passionb) Intimacyc) Commitment The basic assumption of this theory is…
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It is true that our need to belong stems from our status as social beings. Still, there is the school of thought that we must be whole (or at least well-developed) before we can benefit from the synergistic effect of…
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We all have the basic idea that love and lust are different, but it is sometimes difficult to apply this knowledge. Writers on the topic of love subscribe to the notion that different types of love exist. Helen Fisher suggests…
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Lust- in this context- is a strong sexual desire or an intense, physical yearning. Love is a word that cannot be defined in just one short sentence. The relationship between the two concepts is somewhat contentious. Some schools of thought…
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We all like to think we’d know when something is not a good idea. However, some calls are just tough to make. Friendship and dating is like oil and water generally. Ideally, couples should be friends before lovers, although that assumes that mutual…
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Alongside money, sex is a major cause of relationship problems. Although there are many other dimensions of intimate relationships, sex remains integral to them. If the problems associated with sex are not effectively addressed; the relationship may have high commitment,…
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Words are often notoriously difficult to define because of the variety of opinions relating to what they should describe or define. This is why there are often both broad and narrow definitions for the same word. “Flirting” and “cheating” are…
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Unconditional love is an ideal – a concept that is inextricably linked to real love. It is love that is given regardless of how a person looks, feels, thinks or behaves. In addition, it is love that is independent of…
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Denying the existence or relevance of a concept doesn’t mean that such a concept does not exist nor has an impact. Certainly, none can deny that bonding between couples involves emotional bonding. As such, bonding emotionally with others to the…
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Some folks subscribe to the view that “rules are meant to be broken”. That may be a questionable maxim, but it is true that- where rules exist- it is easy to transgress sometimes. As a result of human ingenuity and…
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The idea of ‘being in love’ suggests different things to different persons. There is the view that it is ephemeral- romantic love that is later transformed into something deeper. Others may perceive ‘being in love’ as more enduring. It may…
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Long before humans created formal language as a means of communication, we were quite adept at reading subliminal signals and body language. Attraction was an essential concept to primitive man as it is to modern man. You can tell if…
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Trust is one of the pillars of any healthy, intimate relationship. However, when we mention trust in this context, we usually refer to it trusting other people. There is good reason to focus on self-trust. As two become one in…
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Definition: “Love addiction is any unhealthy attachment to people, euphoria, romance or sex in an attempt to get needs met”. Love addiction may not seem like a serious addiction simply because it involves love. However, it is really an addiction…
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People have often heard the old proverb “birds of a feather flock together”. While this idea was around even before psychology became a subject, George Mead was one of the first social thinkers to propose a theory of the “self”. The…
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Would you have been considered a criminal in a bygone era? It may seem hard to fathom, but cohabitation was once outlawed in many countries, including the USA. In fact five states in the U.S. still have cohabitation as an…
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It is true that attitudes towards sex have become more liberated in recent times. That fact is a double-edged sword that has merits and demerits. However, sex on the first date may not be a merit. More than that, the…
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Bonding is a process that occurs in stages. Therefore, the transition to a higher level of bonding or intimacy in a relationship will manifest itself through various tell-tale signs. Perhaps you’ve been on a few dates and know that you…
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Consideration of the appropriateness of sexual fantasy pertaining to someone other than a partner (fantasy fidelity) is multidimensional. If you ask a liberal-minded person or a prude, you will get different perspectives. Further to that, there’s every shade in between…
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Relationship advice is sometimes only sought when relationships require significant repair. That usually happens after long periods of hurt and frustration. The basic relationship truth is that relationships require maintenance. A related truth is that relationship maintenance involves replacing a…
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