November 17, 2015 Crisis Support
Bereavement counseling with a properly trained, experienced and conscientious helper is unlikely to be harmful, but it’s not always necessary. Grief is not an illness; it’s a wound. A good grief counselor should be able to recognize the difference between…
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In these days of long hours and hectic lifestyles, it can be hard to meet new people. Add to that the fact that you’re thrown together for the best part of each day, and it’s easy to see how deeper…
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The phrase ‘fear of committment’ appears to explain more than it actually does. It only describes a situation where someone does not wish to make a committment out of some type of anxiety. But it says nothing about what that…
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September 20, 2015 Communication
We all agree that relationships benefit from good communication, but keeping the channels open and positive isn’t always as easy as it sounds. It can take a certain amount of self-confidence to stray beyond your comfort zones, a willingness to…
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Institutions like parliaments and courtrooms are based on the idea of using opposing arguments to solve complex issues. The essence or arguing is debate, and the goal of debate is to reach a solution. Unfortunately, not everything fits neatly fit…
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September 18, 2015 Communication
To truly deal with annoying people, you sometimes need to put your reactions to one side and start with your powers of observation. Try and recall if you’ve ever seen the person act differently. Do they respond in different ways…
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September 16, 2015 Marriage and Divorce
Time isn’t always enough, especially if things are swept under the carpet. Above anything else, the partner who feels wronged needs to know it won’t happen again. If you’re the one who’s strayed:Be completely honest about why and how the…
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The family has been likened to a mobile – when something upsets the balance the little arms bob and spin about, hunting for new positions to restore it. When one family member is under stress, there are four upsets the…
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August 12, 2015 Marriage and Divorce
Work takes up a great deal of time, it’s a fact. But it takes more than just hours and minutes in the house to preserve family life in the face of a demanding career. You can be physically present at…
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Most people agree that communication is one of the most important tools for a healthy relationship, but it can also be one of the hardest to achieve. When it comes to the subject of feelings, discussions often end unsettling for…
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We’d all like to think that we go for the person within, but like it or not appearance does play a part. But its effects can be far more personal than simply going for the most gorgeous person in the…
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Bereavement is one of the most significant events people go through. It raises big questions and small ones as we try to make sense of what’s happened, deal with the uncomfortable subject of mortality and adjust to a world that…
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We can all fall into passive-aggressive behavior when we feel expressing anger or disagreement is wrong, won’t be accepted or will bring negative consequences. For some people, this fear is more constant and overriding. They can believe that anger and…
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May 14, 2015 Friends and Peers
There’s a difference between meeting people and making friends. The world can sometimes seem unfriendly not because there aren’t people around but that it can be hard to make their acquaintance and even harder to transform casual contact into friendship….
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Losing an argument is far less uncomfortable if you view it as a clash of ideas, not a contest between people. Acknowledging that your debating partner has presented stronger points in support of his or her position doesn’t say anything…
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In the initial stages of a relationship, a couple’s attention is fixed firmly on each other. It has to be. People are getting to know each other and discovering the kind of relationship they can have. At this point they…
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Mammals need their territories and people are no exception. Unfortunately humans don’t have anything as clear as scent to separate common ground from personal turf. The way humans communicate boundaries is much more subtle – if they do it at…
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Lots of situations can cause feelings of rejection. There are clear events like the breakup of a relationship or not landing a job, and more day-to-day disappointments such as a friend becoming distant or not getting invited to a party….
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March 18, 2015 Friends and Peers
Most friendships people have are good enough and some are great. In good friendships, people are able to appreciate each other as positive and worthwhile individuals and can value the friendship for its own sake. Out of this appreciation springs…
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1. A date with external entertainment is less pressured than sitting across from each other in a restaurant. It also gives you something to talk about. Activities where the space is large and there’s a chance to walk around (like…
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February 23, 2015 Marriage and Divorce
There are various types of marriage counseling. Some will focus more on resolving present problems while others may help you understand how past experiences are impacting on your feelings and reactions. Regardless of the style, you’ll get more out of…
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February 7, 2015 Communication
Feedback is giving a second opinion. Good feedback helps a person step back from their work or behavior and view it through someone else’s eyes. So the more clearly and precisely you can communicate your experience, the more impact your…
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January 3, 2015 Friends and Peers
Taking a relationship slowly and being friends are different things. “Dating”, in the traditional sense of going out on dates, means taking time to get to know the person before committing to a relationship, but it’s understood that there is…
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The word “nice” can be used in so many different ways, from genuine praise to a patronizing pat on the head, that it’s no wonder stereotypes have emerged about women disliking men who are “too nice”. In not most cases…
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October 25, 2014 Communication
Most of us like to influence events in our own favor and few of us are always so clear-headed and assertive that we don’t occasionally agree when we’d rather not. But while persuasion, debate and negotiation all seek to bring…
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October 18, 2014 Friends and Peers
Even the way they breathe infuriates you. Their presence is an icy northern wind and when they open their mouths to speak it’s like fingernails down a chalkboard. It can seem quite implausible that any normal mortal could get along…
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Manipulation, like aggression, tries to remove another person’s power of choice. But where aggression uses fear to coerce another party, manipulation turns to trickery. Manipulation needn’t involve a web of deceit or intricate plot. Leaving a newspaper article strategically placed…
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August 26, 2014 Friends and Peers
There’s more than a raft of factors influencing a relationship – it’s a veritable Noah’s Ark. There are two personalities, two personal circumstances, two sets of needs, two life stages, two temporary emotional states, two mechanism for coping and self-defense….
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We all like the idea of having control over our environment and what happens to us. But when we speak of someone being controlling in their relationships, we are talking about a person who tries to restrict their loved ones’…
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Lies create barriers. They instantly separate people into an inner circle which knows the truth and those left outside its walls. The effects of lying are especially damaging when these lines are drawn through a family or between a family…
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