One day during college, my buddy Leon and I went to the $2 cinema to see Before Sunrise. It’s a great movie about two young travelers who meet on a European train and fall in love over the course of one dreamy layover. After watching Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy romp and romance around Vienna , I walked out of the theater wistful and enchanted. Leon and I were both pensive as we trudged through the slushy parking lot. As we neared the car, he said “I wish I could meet a girl like that.”
“I know,” I agreed with a sigh. “Imagine meeting a girl and having such a strong connection that after one day you felt that close to her.” Leon stopped walking and turned to me with a puzzled look. “Naw man,” he said, “I just mean Julie Delpy is hot.”I nodded sheepishly and went back to my reverie about meeting a girl on a westbound train. I was reminded of this incident by a question from a reader who, though he has longer than one day to work with, finds himself unsure of what to do about the girl of his dreams…
I met a girl recently; she is insanely beautiful, smart, and funny – the girl of my dreams. I want to ask her to be my girlfriend, but I’m scared to because she is moving overseas in two months. I’m afraid that she will shoot me down because she may not want to start something before she leaves. Should I wait longer to talk to her in the hope that if we spend more time together, we will grow closer, or should I just be straight up and tell her how into her I am right now. Josh Josh,
Tell her now dude! In fact, stop reading this article and call her immediately. Do it! I don’t care if she’s blasting off in a NASA rocket to colonize Mars; you simply have to tell the girl of your dreams how you feel, and soon. There’s little to be gained by waiting, but there’s plenty to be lost.
I want you to focus less on the outcome, and more on what your heart tells you.As with many things in life, the most important part of love is the journey and not the destination.Try not to worry about whether she will say yes or no; tell her how you feel just because you feel that way! There’s a good chance that you’re correct and she may not want to start a relationship before she leaves, but don’t be frightened off by bad timing. You never know when the time will be right. I have maintained friendships with girls of my dreams in far-flung places, and I know that if the right circumstances conspired to bring us together, it would be magical. By telling her how you feel now, you boost the chance that you’ll stay on her radar for years to come.
Davy Rothbart has gained much wisdom from his years and years of romantic misfires. So while his heart might be an idiot, he can likely help you if your heart is acting like a jerk.