Tips for a Long Lasting Marriage

”My database does not encompass the dynamics of human pair-bonding….” Arnold Schwarzenegger, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines.

I quite often feel this way when I try to figure out how to act as a husband and when I try to sort out my expectations for my wife. After 15 years of marriage, my database is still inadequate.

The Bible encourages wives to submit to their husbands.

This is not a popular viewpoint. Submission never has been a popular word in the U.S. From our beginnings, we have been a rebellious lot.

For thousands of years, women were kept as second-class citizens. They were not allowed to vote, have equal rights, or receive equal pay as men. Some men subject their women to verbal harassment, even physical abuse.

This has culminated in a backlash called the Feminist Movement. The pendulum has swung. Bras have been burned. In the aftermath, many women discarded their traditional place in the home. Husbands became someone to have sex with, someone to help pay the bills, someone to help raise the kids. But please keep any thoughts of leadership to yourself!

Women are refusing to fall under the leadership of the husband. Contributing to the dilemma are the husbands who refuse to lead. Many husbands have not shown themselves worthy to be followed. You can’t blame the wife if the husband is only interested in work, ballgames, and TV. Husbands are not loving their wives the way they should. Myself included.

At the root of the problem is a lack of understanding of the symbolic nature of marriage.

Marriage was intended, by God, to symbolize the relationship between Jesus Christ and His Church. The Church is to submit to Christ as Lord. The Church is to follow Him wherever He leads. They are to be His hands and feet in showing His love to the world. Christ should, and does, love the Church.

This is not to say that men should take on the role of God in a relationship. We are not God. However, we have the God-given responsibility to lead our wives to a deeper relationship with the Lord. We, husband and wife, are servants to the same Master.

So wives, submit to your husbands, not for beatings or verbal harassment, but to the leadership of husbands that love you. If he is not taking a leadership role, then encourage him! Don’t take over and do it for him. Help him to grow into the man that you desire, by the Grace of God. Husbands love your wives as you love your own body, as Christ loves the Church. It’s the way God intended!