Should Couples Live together before getting Married – Yes

Most definitely. I believe that all couples considering getting married should live together for at least 6 months. A month or two isn’t really going to show you how a person really lives, their personality in day to day living. Six months, or longer, will really show you the real person. At that point, you will know if their little habits are too annoying to live with forever or not.

I lived with all three of my ex-husbands before marrying them. I honestly thought, “Ok, this is how they are really, I can deal with it”. No, their little annoying habits, ie: the toilet seat, toothbrush being left on the counter, squeezing the toothpaste in the middle, leaving their clothes wherever they dropped when taken off, weren’t the cause of the divorces (cheating, drugs and alcohol were the causes).

Everyone has habits that they are used to and there has to be compromise in any relationship. There will be things that each does that maybe the other doesn’t. You can either live with it or not.

Then there is the financial issues. Do you open a joint account or keep separate accounts and split everything down the middle? Until you are married, keep it separate. Since you will both be paying the bills and rent, divide it down the middle and write separate checks. This can continue into the marriage too if it works for you.

A lot of couples may meet with opposition from the families. Sit them down and explain that you are considering marriage and before you make the commitment, you want to make sure that you are compatible in a living arrangement. In the long run, if it doesn’t work out, there is no messy divorce issues to be raised. Ask them, would you rather have us get married, it not work and then divorce? Most families would rather not see a divorce, so, they may actually give up the fight there.

If there is a disagreement, talk it out. If it something that just can’t be talked out fairly, find an unbiased third party to help. There are going to be disagreements in any relationship, but if you can’t work them out just living together, then how do you expect to work them out being married?

View a living together arrangement as a trial marriage. If you can survive six months or more, then you might be able to survive 40 or more years together. Remember, trust, communication and honesty are three biggest parts of a relationship.