Men are they all the same

If this question was to be answered generally, some might feel to say “yes.” If this question was to be answered specifically, the answer is emphatically, “no!”

I was brought up with two brothers and my Dad, with many years of my youth spent hanging with the young men in our circle of friends. Further, I have now known my husband for twenty years and I have a teenage son, I have also spent many years of my working life working under or with a man. Each of them are so incredibly different, although there are many facets which make them sometimes feel like they are all the same to us females, especially when they have done something you asked them not to do or not done something when you have asked them to do it!

The key to answering this question is in the base fact that God created us all different, all unique with individual characteristics and natures, both men and women. However, He also created a male and female to accompany each other, to complement each other. Subsequently, in us recognizing this, it explains why we girls sometimes feel like all men are the same, because in some shape and form they are, so as that they can complement us.

Whilst their needs and communication, their drive and passions make them all appear to be the same, they are not, they each have different needs, different forms of communication, different drives and passions, and finally different methods of succeeding (or not succeeding) in their chosen field on this planet.

I know this is a two-way street, especially in relationships, but it would be better if we ladies endeavored to learn to communicate their way, that we took the time to understand their needs, drives and passions, and that we also made the effort to respect them and their endeavors.

With the issue of communication, whilst I have had all these men in my life, I am still learning to improve my communication with them, for example not give my husband the triathlon version of my day’s events or our son, the marathon version of how our daughter did something special and new. With my employer, I have to “cut to the chase” regarding an unpaid account from a client and with our male friends, remain communicative without adding too much emotion. Are all men the same in the communication department? I believe yes ladies, just give it to them straight, with none of our pretty decorations added.

Another area that our men appear to be the same is when a problem arises, give them breathing space, as it can affect every corner of their lives and they need time to adjust, time to solve their problem without having any added pressure, no matter how important we believe what we have to say is.

In all the years that we have been assisting couples to repair their relationships, so many times, we hear the comment, “but all men are the same.” And yet on the other side, a close friend of mine rebuked me when I endeavored to say that my husband was out of the same “pod” as her ex-husband, because they are two men from the same race and culture. She reminded me amongst other things that my husband was not raised the same way, neither was he in the same place of denial as her ex-husband.

So ladies, whilst we remember that our men are all individuals and unique in their own way, only believe that all men are the same so that we might be able to better understand how they are different to us. But never see this as a negative thing, rather see that they were only made different so that they might complement us females, and that we were made differently to men, but only so that we might complement them. For in many ways, we appear to be all the same in their eyes.