Just as a marriage can survive infidelity or financial crisis, it IS possible for a marriage to survive lying, as long as partners are willing to change the dynamics of the relationship, and willing to work at the marriage. Lying in ANY situation is detrimental to ANY relationship, but definitely can KILL a marriage. Marriage is supposed to be based on love, honor, trust, commitment, etc. If you or your spouse lie, this breaks down the emotional basis of love, can actually KILL the LOVE in a relationship if the lies are severe enough.
Lying breaks down the very foundation of a marriage, and destroys the trust and sense of commitment to the marriage, on BOTH parties. If you or your spouse are lying, then it’s obvious that one of you, or both of you can not, or do not, trust the other. It’s extremely hard to stay committed to a spouse that lies. If you’re the one who’s lying, then ask yourself how committed you truly are to your marriage. If you answer honestly, your answer may surprise you!
A marriage that is surrounded by, filled with, or based on lies, is no marriage at all. And it will never survive the lying. Even small, “white lies”, are extremely harmful to your marital relationship. There’s absolutely NO GOOD REASON to lie to your spouse or for them to lie to you. Lies indicate a lack of trust and respect, and even a basic friendship will die if filled with lies.
It’s human nature to want to lie to cover our mistakes or to protect another person, but, lying can also be done for malicious or deviant reasons. You and your spouse made those vows to love, cherish, and honor, until death do you part. Well, most people assume that’s on the basis of the death of either spouse… I am broadening that to include the reason for most divorces; The death of the marriage.
If you can’t trust or respect your partner, whom you made these vows with, to be able to be one hundred percent honest with them at all times, and you can’t trust them to do the same, then what exactly do those marriage vows mean? In either case, it takes the marriage vows out of the equation, by lessening the meaning of those vows and basically rendering them meaningless.
Lying is NEVER acceptable in a loving, committed marriage, and should never be done or tolerated by either party. If you or your partner have a problem with lying, then the time has come to seek counseling, try to save your marriage before the lies kill it. Marriage can survive lying, but it has to be stopped in order for the marriage to be saved.