What’s more Important your Career or your Family

Dear Dr. Philippa,

I’ve almost completed my Master’s degree in music, and I’ve been awarded a fellowship in Saltzburg, Germany. This should be the happiest time of my life, but I’m crying myself to sleep every night.

I’ve wanted to go to Saltzburg every since I was a little girl. But now I don’t know whether I should go. Eight months ago, I met the man I want to spend my life with. He’s everything I ever wanted. His two pre-schoolers adore me and call me Mommy.

He wants to marry me as soon as I graduate. He’s very supportive of my music career, but he can’t bear the thought of my living in another country for two years. My mother says all he wants is a live-in babysitter, cook, and laundress, and if he really loved me, he could manage on his own for a couple more years. He says he will wait for me, but he’s concerned about his children. Can they handle another loss so soon?

Dr. Philippa, what’s the right thing to do?

Conflicted in Canmore

Dear Conflicted,

You don’t need advice. Whether you want to admit it or not, you’ve already made up your mind, and now you’re shopping for compelling arguments to support your decision.

Get a grip. No matter what you do, somebody will object. No matter what you do, you will regret it some day. That’s life. So stop whining about the menu.

Pick your door and walk through it. Your ultimate happiness doesn’t depend on doing the “right” thing.