Dating Dilemmas Advice

In my opinion, if you have to convince your partner not to break up, or that you “belong together”, then perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship and why it has hit the point where one of you wants to break up and the other doesn’t. When you can feel your partner moving farther and farther away from you emotionally, and yet you feel that all you want is for them to stay with you, it’s time for “Relationship 911”!

If you are seriously trying to convince your partner not to break up, chances are, you won’t be successful. And, if you ARE successful in convincing them not to break up, neither of you is likely to be happy. Why is this? Because most times, if a person wants to end a relationship, it’s because their needs are no longer being met in the relationship, or they have “outgrown” the relationship. Forcing or coercing them to stay in the relationship is NOT the way to make either of you happy. You CAN’T make anyone do something that they don’t want to do. Period.

The best advice I can suggest for someone who wants to convince their partner not to break up, is to honestly evaluate your relationship. Is something missing? Do either of you feel “smothered” or alone in the relationship? Is there a third party involved? (For example, suppose your partner wants to enter into a relationship with another person, there will be absolutely NOTHING that you can say or do that will convince them to not break up with you!) Has the “spark” gone from the relationship? Are you both at a different point in your lives and what you want from relationships? These are tough questions for anyone to ask themselves, let alone answer honestly, but it’s absolutely necessary for the health of a relationship, whether the relationship continues or ends!

If you are truly convinced that there is still a chance for your relationship, and you want to convince your partner not to break up, then the best option is to have a long heart-to-heart conversation with your partner. Find out WHY they want to break up, find out if they believe there’s still a chance. If after a long heart-to-heart conversation, they still want to break up, or they won’t have the conversation, then let them go with peace and love. If they are willing to try to work on the relationship, I strongly suggest couple’s counseling.

Just remember that sometimes people just grow apart, sometimes relationships just aren’t “meant to be”, and that you can’t make anyone do anything that they don’t want to do. It’ll go a long way towards saving your sanity when dealing with the aftermath of a breakup.