“Love, a word that comes and goes, but few people really know what it means to really love somebody”(Kirk Franklin).
It is a common reality that a person’s state, thoughts and decision making policy and philosophy is a function of his or her emotional status. Let’s take a look at the woman:
At first thought, the woman is naturally different from the man. Leaving the physical, the woman is also different from the man in the way they think, act and respond. These differences however are designed to be complimentary and not decisive. The woman is an “emotional feeler”. The phrase “emotional feeler” refers to the way she processes the verbal and non-verbal communication she receives and perceives from the world around her.
Purpose determines design, and so the woman is generally made to feel from her neural pathways between the left and right hemispheres of her brain(logical and emotional). Both are intact, causing her to be able to do multiple things at the same time. Her emotions are with her all the time she is thinking, influencing her perspective to the world around her. A woman’s first reaction will generally be an emotional one followed by a thinking one. The man’s first reaction will be a thinking one, but he will also feel.
To really appreciate this fact, take for example, a woman will be looking forward to a romantic evening with her husband that they had planned. She will prepare the food, set the table, arrange the flowers, and even polish the silverware and then meets him at the door when he comes home. Her husband comes in, says hello and strides right past her without noticing that she has dressed up. Instead of going to the table, he goes into the living room and says, “I’m going to have dinner in front of the TV while I watch the news.” His mind is still in work mode. He’s intent on finding out any information that may affect his work and thus his ability to provide for his wife and family. However, because his wife doesn’t understand this, she is deeply hurt at his behavior. Her front reaction is to feel that he is ungrateful, inconsiderate and heartless.
It is therefore inevitable that though the woman’s design is different from the man, both need to understand the build of each other in order to cause a fulfilling union between them.
Contrary to the belief of most women, men also have emotions. They just don’t always express them-either because it’s more difficult for them to do or because their thinking rather than their emotions is at the fore-front of what they are engaged in. Most times, while the man is thinking, the woman is feeling, and when he is feeling, she is thinking. In other words, there are times when a woman isn’t feeling what a man is thinking, and a man is not thinking what a woman is feeling.
When this happens, the lack of communication between them compounds their frustration with one another. Men need to learn to express their feelings. At the same time, a woman shouldn’t consider his unemotional response as being either irresponsible or inconsiderate.
As can be found in most cases, what a woman is thinking is often different from what she is saying. A man who puts his thoughts first may not find the woman’s idea very logical. A man likes to solve problems. A woman clothes her need for affection with a posing problem. So the man thinks he has solved her problem, but the woman feels that her desire hasn’t been met.
The truth is that a woman doesn’t always tell a man what she is thinking. When she starts to become emotional, he needs to be patient and try to work through her emotions to find out what she is thinking.
On the part of the man, most times when he speaks to a woman, he doesn’t tell her what he is feeling. The misunderstanding this causes contributes to misunderstanding in relationships today. A woman may complain to her friend that her husband has no feelings for her.” He doesn’t say he loves me. He doesn’t care about me”. All the while the man feels deeply for her. In his heart, he feels great love for her, but in his mind, this love is not always translated into specific words that he can share with her. That’s why a woman becomes incredulous when she shares a romantic moment with a man and he starts talking about a business report or news item!
Men have to start learning to communicate their feelings to women. It can be difficult for women to understand how hard it is for men to express their feelings. Yet it is important for a woman not to come to any conclusion about a man’s motivations until she knows exactly what he is feeling (Munroe)